How to get your divorce papers legally, legally, and without any hassle
Posted On August 1, 2021
I recently had a divorce.
It wasn’t easy.
My ex-wife, a high school teacher, had just moved from Texas to New York.
It was a whirlwind of a year, but it was worth it, because I’m an attorney.
She filed a motion for divorce, and I agreed to take her case.
My lawyers asked me for legal advice, and while they were in my office, I took a moment to think about it.
I wondered if I was being asked to represent my ex-husband, or if I should be representing her.
I didn’t want to be representing my ex.
I was doing the right thing.
I could handle this alone.
The judge didn’t agree with my ex’s decision to get a divorce, so I agreed that I would take her divorce case.
I felt relieved.
Then my ex came to me and said she wanted to know what the court would do if she wanted the divorce to be stayed.
She said, “I don’t want the divorce,” and I said, OK, I’ll do it.
She was angry.
“Why don’t you give me a chance to come in and have my lawyer meet with me?”
My lawyers explained that my ex had a bad marriage.
We were separated, and she was living with her ex-partner.
I told her that I wasn’t doing anything illegal.
The divorce was going to be settled, and there wasn’t any problem with that.
But then she said, Why don’t we talk to her and get a better understanding of what her issues are?
That was when I realized what she was saying.
She didn’t understand why I was not doing anything to help her with her divorce.
She thought I was selfish.
She never thought I would be successful.
But I think I was.
My lawyer explained that because she had a long history of domestic violence, she was in a “survival mode” and would have trouble dealing with the divorce.
In addition, because she didn’t have the financial resources to pursue a divorce in court, she had no intention of pursuing it in the first place.
So my ex would need to work with me to get her divorce legally, which would take several months.
My divorce lawyer took her to the courthouse, and we waited for the judge to make his decision.
The court clerk stood up and asked me what my reasons were for agreeing to the divorce settlement.
“Because you are an attorney and your client wants the divorce?” she asked.
I answered that I was an attorney representing my wife, who was living in a temporary arrangement with her former husband.
She asked, “How long are you going to stay in that relationship?”
I told the court clerk that I had no plans to stay with my wife for very long.
“I have heard this before,” she said.
“You’re not doing your job.”
That was the last time I ever saw her.
We got married in January, but the marriage was on hold until the divorce was finalized.
As a divorce attorney, I have to be ready to fight the divorce for as long as it takes.
After my divorce, my ex continued to abuse me.
She still harassed me on Facebook and online.
When she told me she was having an affair with another man, I went to see the man.
I found out he was married to another woman.
He had no idea what was going on, so he left the room and didn’t come back.
The next day, I saw him at the park, talking to a woman.
She told me her name was Jessica and she said she was getting an abortion.
I asked her if she was still dating him, and he told me that he and his wife were getting married.
I went home and I cried for hours.
I knew I had made the wrong decision.
But after all the time I spent thinking about it, it felt like the right decision.
My attorneys took my ex to court to get custody of their daughter, and they took her into custody.
I got a $1 million settlement from her ex and a $500,000 settlement from the other woman, so now we’re married again.
My attorney, David Lebovitz, a former Supreme Court Justice, says that my experience in divorce is one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned in my career.
“It’s not a matter of what you do,” he says.
“If you go through the legal process and make the best decision, you’re going to win.
But if you just go along with the flow and do the things that you’re told, you can never get the divorce.”
I was still angry.
I thought I had lost.
But at least I knew my ex was doing something right.
I wanted to help other people.
And now that my divorce is over, I know what to do next.
I’m a licensed divorce attorney in New York City.
I’ve been doing this